Lost Contact Lens Friday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
The teen-ager lost a contact lens while playing
basketball
in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his
mother
the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went
outside
and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her
hand.
"How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teen-ager
asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied.
"You
were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was
looking
for $150."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cell Phones
One Sunday morning while sitting down front, I noticed
my Senior Pastor
growing agitated. Our Sanctuary was a buzz with cell
phones, pages,
etc.,.
Although is says right in the bulletin "to please turn
off all cell
phones,
etc.,. before entering the sanctuary" it seemed that
no one had paid
attention to the request.
One of the assistant pastors even made it a point to
ponder as he gave
the
morning announcements.
But none the less, no one seemed to car.
At his appointed time, the senior pastor got up and
began to preach his
morning message. The cell phones and pagers grew
louder. Finally, out
of
desperation, he made the following announcement, "I am
not preaching
another
word until all of you turn off your cell phones this
minute. I don't
want
another phone to ring, and if one does. It better be
God; or don't
answer
it!".
I'll be darned. I could almost hear our Sovereign Lord
grin and
pronounce.
"Stand back boys--this one is mine." In what couldn't
of been more than
a
second later, another phone did go off. The senior
pastor's face turned
beat
red. The choir was hysterical. The embarrassed padre
reached under his
robe
and fished for his own pocket to silence the
electronic device now
causing
so much laughter. But the choir being the ever quick
thinkers on their
feet,
and only feet away from their dear Shepherd, didn't
want to miss a
beat. In
unison, they all chanted once for all; "If it's not
GOD, don't answer
it sir!".
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Press Eight
I called to make airline reservations and was put on
hold.
After several minutes of taped music, a recorded voice
came on:
"If you have been waiting longer than ten minutes,
press eight.
This will not speed up your call, but it will give you
something
to do while you wait."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Have a Blessed Day
Dave And Barbara
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