"Love Bug" Virus Wednesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
computers in it's path. There have recently been some new
mutations or variations of this virus that you should be
aware of.
* The "I Love You, But I'm Shy" virus never actually invades
your computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from
afar.
* The "Love The One You're With" virus hangs around your
computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can
find the computer that it really wants to invade.
* The "Happily Married" virus invades only one computer
and stays with it for life.
* The "Unhappily Married" virus spends a long time negotia-
ting with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to
other computers from time to time.
* The "I Want A Divorce" virus sends repeated, hard-to-read
messages that your computer isn't working and takes half of
your computer's best data in an ugly network session.
* The "Stalker" virus spends unnatural amounts of time
monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has
thrown away and tries to record all of its functions. And it
writes rude messages to any other computer with which yours
connects on any regular basis.
* The "Forever Single" virus causes your computer to focus
solely on other computers with which it is totally incompat-
ible or prove generally unavailable.
* The "Deadbeat" virus invades your computer, spawns an
entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as
it grows.
so I called the computer guy over to my desk.
He clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
"So, what was wrong?"
"An ID Ten T Error, what's that, in case I need to fix it again?"
"Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?"
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine
Technology
DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dead or Dying Gas Eater
Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Express
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
GM
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable
And Inexpensive
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of
Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO
Put in new transmission often
PONTIAC
Poor old Neanderthal thinks it's a Cadillac
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners
VW
Virtually Worthless
Dave and Barbara
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