Math Problems
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Mrs. Johnson the Christian school math teacher was
having children do problems on the blackboard. She
was constantly trying to incorporate Christian themes
in the classroom, but was having trouble making it
work for math until she got some unexpected help from
a student.
"Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"
No one raised their hand. She called on Tommy, and
with some help he finally got it right.
"Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?"
Students hid their faces. She called on Mark, who got
the problem but there was some suspicion his girlfriend
Lisa whispered it to him.
"Who would like to do the third problem, division?"
Now a low collective groan could be heard as everyone
looked at nothing in particular. The teacher called on
Suzy, who got it right
"Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?"
Johnny's hand enthusiastically shot up. It surprised
everyone in the room because he had previously been
avoiding participation. The teachers finally gained her
composure in the stunned silence.
"Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?"
He said, "The Bible says to go forth and multiply!"
Sunday School Class
Dotty Sonshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Little Johnny's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt," said Johnny.
"I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Susie said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius -- the Pilot!"
Church Bulletin and Service Bloopers
This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers:
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".
Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the
sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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