Michigan Humor
Posted by: <@...>
IN DA BEGININ DER WAS NUTIN.
DEN ON DA FIRST DAY GOD CREATED DA UP.
ON DA SECOND DAY, HE CREATED DA PARTRIDGE, DA DEER, DA BEAR, DA FISH, AND DA DUCKS.
ON DA TIRD DAY HE SAID " LET DER BE YOOPERS TO ROAM DA UP."
ON DA FOURTH DAY HE CREATED DA UDDER WORLD DOWN BELOW.
ON DA FIFTH DAY HE SAID "LET DERE BE TROLLS TO LIVE IN DA WORLD DOWN BELOW."
ON DA SIXTH DAY HE CREATED DA BRIDGE SO DA TROLLS IN THE UDDER WORLD WOULD HAVE A WAY TO GO TO HEAVEN.
GOD SAW IT WAS GOOD AND ON DA SEVENTH DAY HE WENT HUNTIN.
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How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb??
At Michigan it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to brag how they
did it every bit as well as any Ivy League School.
At Michigan State it takes two thousand. One to change the bulb, and the other
one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine to riot and set it on fire.
At Grand Valley State it takes ten, one to change the bulb and the other nine to
sit around and watch because it is the big entertainment of the evening.
At Wayne State, there aren't any lightbulbs. Somebody stole them all.
At Eastern it takes four. One to change the bulb, one to steal the new bulb from
the store, one as a look out, and one to drive the getaway car.
At Central it takes eight. One to screw it in and seven to throw a party over
it.
At Western it takes twelve, two to figure out how to screw it in and ten to find
an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.
At Oakland University it takes zero; they can't afford lightbulbs just like they
can't afford a football team.
At Northern it takes five. Four to strap on snow shoes and hike 10 miles to the
nearest store to get the new bulb and one to screw it in.
At Michigan Tech it takes twenty. One to change the bulb and the other nineteen
to find a new way to engineer it so it never has to be changed again.
At Hillsdale it takes zero, they have mommy and daddy pay someone to do it for
them.
At Ohio State it takes two, one to screw it in and one to time it to make sure
they did it faster than Michigan.
(Apparently Northwood doesn't have light bulbs either, or they fall in the same
category as Hillsdale...)