Quote from Forum Archives on July 15, 2004, 8:16 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

We would like to thank everyone who is praying for Niki and sent us a reply to have your name added to the book to be sent to her. We ask that you continue to keep Niki in prayer and if you have not sent a reply to have your name added please do.

Thank you

Dave and Barbara

Send replies to:

Bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Minister  

 

A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the congregation, "For
my sermon today, I will take some words from a scripture; 'And they fed
five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"

A member of the congregation snickered at the preacher's snafu, raised
his hand and said,

"That's not much of a trick. I could do that."

The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he decided to
repeat the same words. This time he did it properly;

"And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two
fishes."

Smiling broadly, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could you do that,
Mr. Perkins?"

The member of the congregation said...

"I sure could."

"And how would you do it?"

Perkins replies, "With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!

 

 

 

Large Check Or A Small Check    

 

 

The rich aunt was hurt and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry  
you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a  
large check or a small check."  

"I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I didn't  
know you were talking about neckties."  

 

 

Can't Trust  

 

I was in the check-out lane of a grocery store when a
sunny day suddenly turned gray and rainy.

 

"Wow!  That was fast!" I commented, looking outside.

 

"Oh, you can't trust those weathermen," the young cashier
said with a wave of her hand.
"They give you a different forecast every day."

 

 

Answering Machine   

 

 

The following is an answering machine from a Pacific
Palisades school in California. The school and teachers were
being sued by parents who wanted their children's failing
grades changed to passing grades even though those childeren
were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not
complete enough school work to pass thier classes.
This was voted unanimously by the school staff as the acual
answering mashine message for the school:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering sevice
of your school. In order to assist you in connecting
with the right staff member,please listen to all your options
before making a selection:

-To lie why your child was absent- Press 1

- To make excuses why your child did not do his/her
work- Press 2

- To complain about what we do- Press 3

-To swear at staff members- Press 4

- To ask why you didn't get information that was already
enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to
you- Press 5

-If you want us to raise your child- Press 6

-If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone
- Press 7

- To request another teacher for the third time this year-
Press 8

-To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

- To complain about school lunches- Press 0

-If you realize this is the real world and your child must
be accountible/responsible for his/her own behavier, class
work,homework, and it is not the teacher's fault for
your child(ren)'s lack of effort, hang up and have a nice
day!"

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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