Quote from Forum Archives on June 23, 2006, 4:03 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Missing Bags"

 

 

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

 

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"Find and Replace"

 

 

The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship folders. Some churches which use the same basic format each week can simply call up the form on the computer screen, make a few necessary changes, and presto, it's done.

 

But it can be tricky.

 

In one church I know, they use the same format for funeral services. And when a person dies and a funeral service is prepared, the secretary simply uses the word-search-and-replace process and changes the name of the deceased from the previous service to the name of the deceased who has just passed away.

 

Very simple.

 

So when Edna died, the pastor instructed the secretary to prepare the service for her by following the above mentioned process. The last person who died was Mary. So the secretary instructed the computer to change all "Marys" to Ednas." And so it was.

 

Imagine the surprise of the attendees when they recited the Apostles Creed and read:

 

"He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Edna..."

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"Sports Fanatic"

 

 

My son is a sports fanatic and he has well-worn T-shirts,
caps, and sweatshirts from every local team. One night, we
were getting ready for an annual fund-raiser for our local
theater organization.

 

My wife called out to my son, "This is a pretty fancy
dinner. You'll have to wear a sports jacket."

 

My son answered, "Which team?"

 

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"Family Records"

 

 

The following was overheard at a recent high society party...

 

"My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?"

 

"I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood."

 

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"Customer Service"

 

 

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store
when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood.

 

Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw.
As luck would have it, he was standing behind the Customer Service counter.

 

"Please help," I gasped. "My car's on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!"

 

Without even looking up, he replied, "Aisle 12."

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Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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