Moses and the Ten Commandments
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Excuse me Sir"
"Is that you again Moses?"
"Yes Sir, I'm afraid it is Sir".
"What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"
"Oh, yes; I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know, Sir. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, Sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten 'things' you sent me via e-mail?"
"You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they are important."
"What do you mean 'if they are important,' Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise, I would not have sent them to you."
"Well, - sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them; but, of course, you would see right through that."
"What do you mean you 'lost them'? Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir; I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yes, I know. You told me that before. I was going to save them, but I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. There was the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not.' Maybe he changed the words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I will act as if I did not hear that!"
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yes. I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain! You don't think he might have sent me one of those plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten 'things', do you?"
"They are not plagues; they are called 'Viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I never lost them!"
"Thou shalt do it the new way, Moses; using computers"
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and point it toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses, not a rat. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try calling Technical Support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you? And I really like your hours.
By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"No!.....Moses."
"One other thing. Why did you not name them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"
"I did not name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman told Adam to call it a mouse.
After all, was it not a woman who named one of the Computers, 'Apple?'"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the mouse, and it seems to be working.
Yes, a couple of the ten 'things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let me see. 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.' "Turn the computer OFF, Moses...I'm sending you 'another set' of stones!"
**************************************************
*** Notes To Teachers ***
Please excuse Tommy for
being absent yesterday. He had
diarrhea and his boots leak.
-
Irving was absent yesterday
because he missed his bust.
-
Please excuse Jimmy for being.
It was his fathers fault.
-
Please excuse Jennifer
for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the
Sunday paper off the porch,
and when we found it Monday,
we thought it was Sunday.
-
Sally won't be in school
a week from Friday.
We have to attend her funeral.
-
My daughter was absent yesterday
because she was tired.
She spent a weekend
with the Marines.
-
Please excuse Mary for
being absent yesterday.
She was in bed with gramps.
-
Gloria was absent yesterday
as she was having a gangover.
-
Please excuse Burma,
she has been sick
and under the doctor.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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