Quote from Forum Archives on May 6, 2005, 3:14 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

Mother's Day is a time of commemoration and celebration for Mom. It is a time of breakfast in bed, family gatherings, and saying I Love You.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers of the world.
Dave and Barbara

 

"M - O - T - H - E - R"

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,

 

Put them all together, they spell
"MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.

 

 

"My Mother Taught Me"

To Value A Job Well Done
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

 

Time Travel
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

 

Logic
"Because I said so, that's why."

 

Foresight
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 

Irony
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

 

Osmosis
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

Stamina
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 

Weather
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 

Hypocrisy
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

 

Circle Of Life
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 

Behavior Modification
"Stop acting like your father!"

 

Envy
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

 

Anticipation
"Just wait until we get home."

 

Receiving
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 

Medical Science
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

 

How To Become An Adult
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 

Genetics
"You're just like your father."

 

Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

 

Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

 

 

"The Stages Of Motherhood"

 

Here is a light hearted presentation of what we all think about our moms, at different points of our lives. Don't get surprised because we all have the same tendency towards our mothers!

 

4 Years Of Age - My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age -My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age -Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either
16 Years Of Age -Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age -That old woman? She's way out of date
25 Years Of Age -Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age -Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion
45 Years Of Age -Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age -Wish, I could talk it over with Mom

 

 

"Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"

 

1.  I swallowed the goldfish.

 

2.  Your lipstick works better than crayons.

 

3.  Does grape juice leave a stain?

 

4.  The principal called...

 

5.  But DAD says that word all the time!

 

6.  What's it cost to fix a window?

 

7.  Has anyone seen my earthworms?

 

8.  I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?

 

9.  The dog doesn't like dressing up in your underwear.

 

10.  I'm running away from home. (Well, maybe some days.) 

 

 

"God can't be always everywhere: and, so He,
Invented Mothers."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>