Quote from Forum Archives on June 24, 2005, 1:38 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Murphy's Laws for Parents"

 

 

1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.

 

2. Leakproof thermoses -- will.

 

3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

 

4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.

 

5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.

 

6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.

 

7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.

 

8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.

 

9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.

 

10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

 

 

"Overdue"

 

Mr. Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws
her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a
month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for
sure, we can't tell anybody."

 

The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call from
AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the
electricity bill has not been paid.

 

" Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma ? "
"Yes...... speaking"

 

AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW
?????"
" Yes ............. We have a system of finding out
who's overdue "
" GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I
have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about
this tonight. ... he will speak to your company
tomorrow "

 

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and
he, mad a s a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day
morning.

 

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is
a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

 

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at
AEC,"it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

 

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to
cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

 

 

"Hand Dryers"

 

 

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out.

 

 I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read, "To hear a replay of this week's sermon, push the button."

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>