Murphy's Laws on Computers Tuesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.
- Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one.
- You can't win them all, but you sure can lose them all.
- The likelihood of a hard disk crash is in direct proportion to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.
- There are only two kinds of computer users: Those whose hard disks have crashed, and those whose hard disks haven't crashed - yet.
- Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it. If you fiddle with something long enough, you'll break it.
BIT
A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's computer cost quite
a bit."
BOOT
What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging
about your son's computer skills.
BUG
What advertisers do to you after they get your name on their emailing
list.
CHIPS
The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having
to leave their keyboards for meals.
COPY
What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time
at the computer and not enough time studying.
CURSOR
What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in
"You $#% computer!"
DISK
What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for
seven hours at a clip.
DUMP
The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your
computer.
ERROR
What you made the first time you walked into a computer store to "just
look."
EXPANSION UNIT
The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer
and all its peripherals.
FILE
What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day,
now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.
FLOPPY
The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of
exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see Chips").
HARDWARE
Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't
laid a finger on since getting your computer.
MONITOR
Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually
refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at
school.
PROGRAMS
Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked
your computer up to the web.
TERMINAL
A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot
computers.
WINDOW
What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a
program that took you three days to set up.
Truckers are a breed apart, and they have a language all their own. Some colorful examples of big-rig lingo:
Strips of rubber tire on the road ahead, to be avoided: Alligators
Semi with a big sleeper: Condo
Flatbed truck with a tarp: Covered wagon
Scale and/or weigh station: Chicken coop
Cars: Four-wheelers
Car-transport truck: Parking lot
Rest area: Pickle park
Snowplow salt trucks: Saltshakers
Bus: Stagecoach
Second trailer hauled by one semi tractor: Wiggle wagon
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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