MY EXERCISE PROGRAM
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you." I know that I should
do it, but my body is out of shape, so I have worked out this easy daily
program I can do right at work:
Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.
Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of mole hills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the band wagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.
Thursday:
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
Saturday:
Pick up the pieces.
Whew!
What a workout!
You are invited to use my program without charge!!
*******************************************
*** Boy & The Creek ***
One day a boy came walking home from school. On the way home he saw a creek. He quickly jumped in, clothes and all. When he arrived home completely soaked his dad asked, "Son what happened?"
"I jumped in that creek down the road."
"Why did you do that?"
"I dunno."
His dad was very angry and said, "If you jump in that creek again, just because, I'm gonna tan that hide - just because! Is that clear?"
"Yes dad." replies his son.
The next day, the boy came home walking from school, and sure enough when he saw that creek, he jumped right on in.
When he went home, his dad knew what had happened and asked, "Didn't I tell you not to jump in that creek again?"
"Yes dad, but Satan told me to do it!"
His dad, being somewhat religous, decided to give his son the benefit of the doubt and tells him - "Next time Satan tells you to do something like that, say 'Satan get thee behind me in the name of Jesus.'"
"Ok dad." replied the son.
Well the next day after school, the boy was walking across the bridge, and well you know the rest. He came home again soaked. His dad said, "I thought I told you what to say when you came to that creek!"
"I said what you told me dad, and when I did, Satan pushed me in."
*******************************************
*** Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve ***
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men
hate to ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day need
someone to hand him the TV remote.
8. God knew that Adam would never buy a
new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one
for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for
himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage
night.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able
to handle childbearing.
4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never
remember where he put his tools.
3. The scripture account of creation
indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him
hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be
alone!"
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back,
scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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