My New Exercise Program

#1 · November 6, 2003, 10:26 am

Quote from Forum Archives on November 6, 2003, 10:26 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

~~~ My New Exercise Program ~~~

The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you." I know that I
should do it, but my body is out of shape, so I have worked out this
easy daily program I can do anywhere:

Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.

Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of mole hills.
Hit the nail on the head.

Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the band wagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.

Thursday:
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.

Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.

Saturday:
Pick up the pieces.
Whew!
What a workout!

You are invited to use my program without charge!!

~~~ Parking Problems ~~~

A few years ago, there was a news story on the radio about a Jewish
synagogue that had a problem with the Baptists down the street. Some
Jews were unable to find a space in their own parking lot because
members of the nearby Baptist church, which met earlier in the morning
for revival meetings, got there first. So the Jewish synagogue had a
problem.

Now they could have towed the Baptist's cars away. Or they could have
patrolled their lot Saturday mornings. Or they could have written a
letter to the offending church members, imploring them to park
elsewhere, but they didn't.

Instead, they used bumper stickers.

One Saturday morning they stuck a bumper sticker to every car in the
lot -- Baptist and Jewish alike. The sticker read: "I'M PROUD TO BE
JEWISH !"

No more parking lot problems

~~~ Potato Chips ~~~

A little boy wanted to meet God.
He knew it was a long trip to where God
lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks,
he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons.The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips.
She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the
boy wanted to see it again, so he
offered her a root beer. Again,
she smiled at him. The boy was
delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up
to leave; but before he had gone
more than a few steps, he turned
around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his
own house a short time later, his
mother was surprised by the look
of joy on his face. She asked him,
"What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch
with God." But before his mother could
respond, he added, "You know what?
She's got the most beautiful
smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant
with joy, returned to her home.
Her son was stunned by the look
of peace on her face and he asked,
"Mother, what did you do today
that made you so happy?" She replied,
"I ate corn chips in the park with God."However, before her son responded,
she added, "You know, he's much
younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power
of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment,
or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a
life around. People come into
our lives for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. Embrace all equally! Have lunch with God........bring chips.

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

~~~ My New Exercise Program ~~~

The doctor told me "Physical exercise is good for you." I know that I
should do it, but my body is out of shape, so I have worked out this
easy daily program I can do anywhere:

Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.

Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of mole hills.
Hit the nail on the head.

Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the band wagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.

Thursday:
Toot my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.

Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.

Saturday:
Pick up the pieces.
Whew!
What a workout!

You are invited to use my program without charge!!

~~~ Parking Problems ~~~

A few years ago, there was a news story on the radio about a Jewish
synagogue that had a problem with the Baptists down the street. Some
Jews were unable to find a space in their own parking lot because
members of the nearby Baptist church, which met earlier in the morning
for revival meetings, got there first. So the Jewish synagogue had a
problem.

Now they could have towed the Baptist's cars away. Or they could have
patrolled their lot Saturday mornings. Or they could have written a
letter to the offending church members, imploring them to park
elsewhere, but they didn't.

Instead, they used bumper stickers.

One Saturday morning they stuck a bumper sticker to every car in the
lot -- Baptist and Jewish alike. The sticker read: "I'M PROUD TO BE
JEWISH !"

No more parking lot problems

~~~ Potato Chips ~~~

A little boy wanted to meet God.
He knew it was a long trip to where God
lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks,
he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons.The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips.
She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the
boy wanted to see it again, so he
offered her a root beer. Again,
she smiled at him. The boy was
delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up
to leave; but before he had gone
more than a few steps, he turned
around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his
own house a short time later, his
mother was surprised by the look
of joy on his face. She asked him,
"What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch
with God." But before his mother could
respond, he added, "You know what?
She's got the most beautiful
smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant
with joy, returned to her home.
Her son was stunned by the look
of peace on her face and he asked,
"Mother, what did you do today
that made you so happy?" She replied,
"I ate corn chips in the park with God."However, before her son responded,
she added, "You know, he's much
younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power
of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment,
or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a
life around. People come into
our lives for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. Embrace all equally! Have lunch with God........bring chips.

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

Necessary Legal Information

I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe:	clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe:	clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe:	clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe:	clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner:	clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org