New Age Grandma Monday
Quote from Forum Archives on September 19, 2004, 5:20 pmPosted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Once again we are asking for Prayers for Niki and her family. Niki is not doing well and needs our prayers now more than ever.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~New Age GrandmaGrandma's on the net again, the kitchen's not
her home.She used to make us cherry pies, and call us on
the phoneShe would talk to us for hours; now she leaves
us all alone.We miss her homemade biscuits, and I'll makethis little bet,If you want to contact Grandma, you'll have to
surf the net.
Grandma's surfing on the net, you bet,She is surfing on the net.We've been calling her all morning, and we
haven't got her yet.She's on the E-mail network, with her electronic
friends...If you want to talk to Grandma, you'll have to
surf the net.She's never surfed at Malibu, or caught a wave
at Waikiki,She's never seen a surfboard: hang ten doesn't
mean a thing.She's never met a beach-bum--Moon Doggie is just
a pup.But when she heads for her computer, you know
the surf is up.Grandma's getting older and her eyes are getting
dimHer random access memory, is half of what its
been.When Grandpa comes to call on her, She'll say I
cant go yet.He'll have to wait for Grandma, cause she's
surfing on the net.Smoke Signal
At her father's wake, a woman told her priest that ever since she was a child she and her father had discussed life after death. They had agreed that whomever went first would contact the other. They had discussed this again just two weeks before his death.
He died in her home and a few days after his death the smoke alarm in her garage went off. She had lived there 28 years and it had never gone off before. She couldn't turn it off so she called the security company that installed it.
The next morning the smoke alarm sounded again...and the reason finally dawned on her...she said aloud "Ok dad, I missed the signal yesterday, but I get it now! Thanks for letting me know that you are safe on the other side. Now turn the thing off so I don't have to call the security company again. ". And it went off.
She immediately called her priest to tell him the good news. His response: "Dear lady, if every time your father sends you a message, he sets off the smoke alarm, just where do you think he's calling from?"GrandfathersA small boy approached a white-haired gentleman in a store
and asked, "Are you a grandfather?" "Yes," replied the man
with a smile."Oh, I'm glad," said the boy, "because my grandfather isn't
here and I need a dime."
Have a Blessed DayDave and BarbaraNecessary Legal InformationI do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
her home.
the phone
us all alone.
surf the net.
haven't got her yet.
friends...
surf the net.
at Waikiki,
mean a thing.
a pup.
the surf is up.
dim
been.
cant go yet.
surfing on the net.
At her father's wake, a woman told her priest that ever since she was a child she and her father had discussed life after death. They had agreed that whomever went first would contact the other. They had discussed this again just two weeks before his death.
He died in her home and a few days after his death the smoke alarm in her garage went off. She had lived there 28 years and it had never gone off before. She couldn't turn it off so she called the security company that installed it.
The next morning the smoke alarm sounded again...and the reason finally dawned on her...she said aloud "Ok dad, I missed the signal yesterday, but I get it now! Thanks for letting me know that you are safe on the other side. Now turn the thing off so I don't have to call the security company again. ". And it went off.
She immediately called her priest to tell him the good news. His response: "Dear lady, if every time your father sends you a message, he sets off the smoke alarm, just where do you think he's calling from?"
and asked, "Are you a grandfather?" "Yes," replied the man
with a smile.
"Oh, I'm glad," said the boy, "because my grandfather isn't
here and I need a dime."
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>