Quote from Forum Archives on October 19, 2006, 5:56 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"New Alphabet"

 

    

 

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

 

Now...

 

The  Alphabet

 

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,

perhaps car-d-iac?

 

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

 

H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

 

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!

 

P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

 

S is  for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.

 

W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.

 

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!

 

"Flu Time Coming"

 

 

Choose your partners, one and all,
Aspirin, Advil, or Tylenol!

 

Now fling those covers with all you've got,
One minute cold, the next minute hot,

 

Circle right to the side of the bed,
Grab the tissues and Sudafed.

 

Back to the middle and don't goof off;
Hold your stomach and cough, cough, cough.

 

Forget about slippers, dash down the hall,
Toss your cookies in the shower stall.

 

Remember others on the brink;
Wash your hands; wash the sink.

 

Wipe the doorknob, light switch too,
By George, you've got it, you're doing the Flu!

 

Some like it cold, some like it hot;
If you like neither, get the shot.

 

 

"Parking Confusion"

 

 

After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction and since he was closer, I gave him the "Are you going to park there"? look.

 

His responding gestures were very confusing. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me, then at the parking space and then at himself, his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his palms upward and shrugged. Once I parked, I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space.

 

"You must be single," he replied. "If you were married, you would've known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife.'"

 

Have a blessed Weekend

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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