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"New Chainsaw" Wednesday
#1 · July 26, 2006, 10:08 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"New Chainsaw"
A fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut
down some trees in his back yard. He goes to
a chainsaw shop and asks about various
chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I
have a lot of models, but why don't you save
yourself a lot of time and aggravation and
get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw
will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in
one day."
down some trees in his back yard. He goes to
a chainsaw shop and asks about various
chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I
have a lot of models, but why don't you save
yourself a lot of time and aggravation and
get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw
will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in
one day."
So, the man takes the chainsaw home and
begins working on the trees. After cutting
for several hours and only cutting two cords,
he decides to quit. He thinks there is
something wrong with the chainsaw. "How
can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?"
the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing
in the morning and cut all day," the man tells
himself. So, the next morning the man gets
up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts,
and cuts till nightfall, and still he only
manages to cut five cords.
begins working on the trees. After cutting
for several hours and only cutting two cords,
he decides to quit. He thinks there is
something wrong with the chainsaw. "How
can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?"
the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing
in the morning and cut all day," the man tells
himself. So, the next morning the man gets
up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts,
and cuts till nightfall, and still he only
manages to cut five cords.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The
dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords
of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this
saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.
dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords
of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this
saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.
The very next day the man brings the saw back
to the dealer and explains the problem. The
dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes
the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says,
"Hmm, it looks fine."
to the dealer and explains the problem. The
dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes
the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says,
"Hmm, it looks fine."
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which
the man responds, "What's that noise?"
the man responds, "What's that noise?"
"New Puppy"
A father gave his little girl a puppy for her birthday. Just an hour
later he found a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor.
He called out loud for his daughter who came running into the
kitchen. Her father asked her to explain why she wasn't watching her new
dog.
She looked up and said simply, "My pup runneth over."
later he found a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor.
He called out loud for his daughter who came running into the
kitchen. Her father asked her to explain why she wasn't watching her new
dog.
She looked up and said simply, "My pup runneth over."
"Accident Report"
Because I was processing my first accident report at
the transport company where I worked, I was being
particularly attentive.
The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the
result was a severely damaged hood and fender.
My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached
the section of the report that asked," Speed of other
vehicle?"
the transport company where I worked, I was being
particularly attentive.
The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the
result was a severely damaged hood and fender.
My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached
the section of the report that asked," Speed of other
vehicle?"
The driver had put "Full gallop."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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