New Food
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
At my parents' dinner table, my five-year-old son,
Ryan, was complaining about a new dish.
"Think of the food you eat as friends to meet,"
Grandma said positively. "Sometimes it takes a
little while to get to know and like some people."
Ryan remained dubious until Grandpa came up with
the prize-winning argument and saved the day.
"Pretend your brain is a computer ready to program,"
he said, "and your tongue is a floppy disc."
Letters to the Pastor
The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world.
Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
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Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix
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Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson, age 11
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Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven
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Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany
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Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago
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Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma
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Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota
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Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City
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Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens
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Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh
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Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena
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Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville
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Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina
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Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron
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Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston
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Service for Your Dog
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time.
The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
Have a Blesses Day
Dave and Barbara
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