Quote from Forum Archives on April 10, 2006, 10:19 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Noah and the Ark"

 

Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time.

 

A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together.

 

The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text. "Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was" - he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long, fifty wide and thirty high."

 

He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read it silently, and turned the page again. Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but there are some things in it that are hard to believe."

"Son Sent To Israel"

 

 

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year, to absorb
 the culture.  When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in
 Israel.  By the way, I converted to Christianity."

 

"Oy vey," said the father.  What have I done?"

 

He took his problem to his best friend.  "Ike," he said, "I sent my son to
 Israel, and he came home a Christian.  What can I do?"

 

"Funny you should ask," said Ike.  "I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also
 came home a Christian."  Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.  So they did,
 and they explained their problem to the rabbi, and asked him what they could
 do.

 

"Funny you should ask,"said the rabbi. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he
 also came home a Christian.  What is happening to our young people?"

 

And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons and asking what
 they could do.  As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the
 heavens:

 

"Funny you should ask," said the voice.  "I, too, sent my son to Israel..."

"Choir Car Wash"

 

The church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money to pay their expenses for a special trip. They made a large sign,
CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP,

 

and on the given Saturday business was very good. But by two o'clock the skies clouded and the rain poured and there were hardly any customers.

 

Finally, one of the girl washers had an idea. She printed a very large poster which said,

 

WE WASH (then an arrow pointing skyward) GOD RINSES.

 

Business boomed!

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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