Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

Nutritious Eating Wednesday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Nutritious Eating"
 
    
         
According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't have to be complicated. Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors. Greens, reds, yellows.
In fact, I did that this morning. I had an entire bowl of M&M's. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy.
 
I now have a whole new outlook on life.

"Diet Rules To Live By"
 
Here are some new diet rules you can actually live by!
Start losing all the weight you ever dreamed of losing!
 
Cookie pieces contain no fat - the process of breaking causes fat leakage. Exception: Cookies sold by Texas D" Lites distributors. Great "Meal Replacement" with little or no fat content, low in calories, lots of fiber, protein, and other nutritional ingredients. 
 

Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are Ice Cream, Frozen pies and popsicles. 
 

Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories, e.g. spinach and pistachio ice cream; mush- rooms and white chocolate. Note: Chocolate is a universal color and maybe substituted for any other food color without increasing caloric content. 
 
  
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner.... So encourage others to eat more... and more often... 
 

In food used for medicinal purposes the calories NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake. 
 
  
Movie related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are not part of one's personal fuel... merely entertainment. 
 

Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich, ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae. 
 

When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do. (see above, encouraging others) 
 


"Dieter's Prayer"
 
             
 
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to do push-ups and other exercises.
He giveth me low carb whole wheat bread.
He restoreth my waistline!
 
He leadeth me past the refrigerator, for mine own sake!
He maketh me to partake of the green beans (instead of potatoes). He
leadeth me past the Cokes and milkshakes.
 
Yea though I walk through the bakery I shall not falter for thou art
with me. Thy Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, they comfort me. Thou preparest a
diet for me, in the presence of mine enemies. Thou annointest my lettuce
with low cholesterol oil; my cup will not run over!
 
Surely Ry-Krisp and Sugar-free Jell-O shall follow me all the days of my
life and I will live with hunger pains forever!! Amen!!
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
     
Necessary Legal Information
 
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
 
Normal Subscribe:
clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe:
clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe:
clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe:
clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner:
clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>