Quote from Forum Archives on December 12, 2006, 1:24 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Office Holiday Memo"

 

To: All Employees
From: Management

Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

 

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

 

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

 

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

 

"CAN YOU NAME THESE CHRISTMAS CAROLS?"

 

(For those who give up, see answers below.)

 

1. ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRST UVWXYZ

 

2. On my list, I only desire my foremost dual incisors.

 

3. The smogless witching hour has arrived.

 

4. Exuberating to this orb

 

5. 288 Yuletide hours

 

6. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis

 

7. Leave and do an elevated broadcast.

 

8. That small hamlet south of the Holy City

 

9. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully.

 

10. Mom's mother was the victim of a "hit-and-run" by Santa's sleigh
team.

 

11. I spied my maternal parent face-against- face with Father Christmas.

 

12. Whose offspring?

 

************ ********

 

ANSWERS:

 

1. The First Noel (no 'L')

 

2. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

 

3. It Came upon a Midnight Clear

 

4. Joy to the World

 

5. The Twelve Days of Christmas

 

6. Silent Night

 

7. Go Tell It on the Mountain

 

8. O Little Town of Bethlehem

 

9. Hark the Herald Angels Sing

 

10. Grandma Got Run-over by a Reindeer

 

11. I Saw Mama Kissin' Santa Claus

 

12. What Child Is This?

 

"Why Santa Wants a Raise"

 

 

10. The hours, the weather and the trend toward smaller chimneys.

 

9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.

 

8. Reindeer and elves have unionized.

 

7. New tax on flying sleighs.

 

6. Sleigh fuel has gone through the roof.

 

5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.

 

4. New air traffic controllers.

 

3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.

 

2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.

 

1. Mrs. Clause told him to.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

      

 

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