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"OLD AGE" Monday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"OLD AGE"

   
Does anybody have a plug,
To fill this gaping hole?
I'm sure there is one in my head,
Because my memory is dead.
 
Walk in the kitchen to do a chore,
Wonder what the heck I went there for,
Need to write some words to post,
Cant remember the ones I like the most.
 
Lost the keys, shampoo has disappeared,
Cant find my way, out in the street.
Maybe I need a brain transplant,
Or maybe, they're in my feet.
 
The dog is looking hungry,
I am getting fat,
Doggy biscuits are all gone,
Heavens! I would't do that.
 
My glasses there on top of head,
I squint at everything I read,
Odd socks adorn these feet, so cold,
Don't say it!   I'm not getting old!
 
Perhaps there is an antidote,
You see, it's getting on my goat,
Pushing buttons prematurely,
Lost my plastic card, they'll charge me dearly.
 
I have become a family joke,
Nobody trusts me to recall.
Birthdays, anniversaries,
I get reminder call.
Can anybody help me?
 
I don't know what to do.
If I remember to post this,
Will you tell, if it happens to you?
 
 
"I'm Fine"  "How Are You?"
 
     
 
There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
And arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
 
Old age is golden — I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
The reason I know my youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has far-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.
 
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.
 
The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.
 
"Calling The Doctor"
 
          
 
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
To be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
 
 
"Surgery Request"
 
       
 
An older gentleman was on the operating table
Awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
A renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia
He asked to speak to his son.
 
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
 
"Don't be nervous, son;
Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me
Your mother is going to come
And live with you and your wife...."
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
       
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