Quote from Forum Archives on September 27, 2003, 8:30 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

 

<><> Old Man <><>     

 

An 80 year old man was talking to his doctor and the doctor asked him what contribed to his longiveity.

 

What do you mean, the old man said.

 

The doctor said, well how old was your father when he died?

 

 

Who said he was dead, says the old man.

 

 You mean he's still alive?

 

Yep, he's 100 years old. He's my golfing partner.

 

That's amazing, Said the doctor. How old was your grandfather 

when he died?

 

Who said he was dead?

 

Now you not telling me you grandfather is still alive.

 

Yep, He's 118 years old.

 

Well did your grandfather go golfing with you today?

 

Nope, he was getting married.

 

You telling me he's wants to get married at 118?

 

Who says he wants to?

 

 

 

 

<><> Customer Service <><>  

 

If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service then you will really appreciate this.My Aunt died this past January. Citi Bank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge ... the balance had been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00.

I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau ... maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CitiBank:"...excuse me .....?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"

CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CitiBank: "...(stammer)".... "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given... )

CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )

(After they get the fax. )

CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death."

Me: "Oh..."

CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help."

Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose ... don't really think she will care...."

CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"

CitiBank: "That might help."

Me: " ( Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot number given. )

CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"

 

 

<><> Mistakes Re-Defined <><> 

If an engineer makes a mistake,
       It is a new venture!
            
If a scientist makes a mistake,        
It is a new invention!
            
If an explorer makes a mistake,        
It's a new discovery!
            
If a driver makes a mistake,        
It is an accident!
            
If a politician makes a mistake,        
It is a new law!
            
If a professor makes a mistake,        
It is a new theory!
            
If a hairstylist makes a mistake,        
It's a new style!
            
If a tailor makes a mistake,        
It is a new fashion!
            
If parents make a mistake,
       It is a new generation!
            
If the boss makes a mistake,        
It is our mistake!
            
If an employee makes a mistake,        
Now, *that* is a "MISTAKE!"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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