one-liners from famous women
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb ...and I also know that I'm not blonde. [Dolly Parton]
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me
she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels
good for 36 hours. [Rita Rudner]
4. "Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths."
[Baroness Edith Summerskill]
5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]
6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth [Erma Bombeck]
7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
[Sue Grafton]
8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne]
9. I think-therefore I'm single. [Lizz Winstead]
10. "When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country." [Elayne Boosler]
11. "Behind every successful man is a surprised female." [Maryon Pearson]
12. "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your
neck?" [Linda Ellerbee]
13. "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything
done, ask a woman." [Margaret Thatcher]
14. "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career." [Gloria Steinhem]
15. "Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." [Gloria Steinhem]
16. "I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which
answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every
morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home
late at night." [Marie Corelli]