Order Please
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
When my youngest daughter was three, she begged to be allowed
to attend a concert with her older sister and brother. She
assured me she was a big girl and would behave herself.
As we took our seats in the orchestra hall, I handed programs
to the kids. Following the lead of her older siblings, my
three-year-old opened her program, and in her most grown-up
voice said, "Mommy, I'll have the chicken, please."
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you
break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works,
then it isn't stupid.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine
tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to
the refrigerator.
5. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a
twelve-year old.
6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the
bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the
switch "on" ; or just paint over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the
alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts
working, you have healed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and
throwing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
*If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose
a check and drip in the collection basket.
*Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.
*Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
*Newsletter's are not being sent to absentees because
of their weight.
*Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information
sheep.
*The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St.
Mary's Cathedral.
*The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church
board.
*As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof
outing.
*Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
*Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
*Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
*For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to
the dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
*Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.
*Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather.
*Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.
*The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working...
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