Quote from Forum Archives on June 26, 2006, 10:18 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Oriskany Falls"

 

 

The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?"
"No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time.

 

A few minutes later, she piped up again "Are we there yet, sonny? Have we reached Oriskany Falls?"

 

Once again, he replied "No, not yet. I'll let you know when we get there!"

 

The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view.

 

Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the breaks, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady."

 

"Is this Oriskany Falls?"

 

"YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!"

 

"Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my blood pressure pill."

 

"Hold Still"

 

 

A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a  

couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of  

the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic  

and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five-  

year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.  

 

Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she  

was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male  

alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load  

by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he  

tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab  

the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to  

grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator."  

 

To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no! Don't shoot  

him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute  

so I could take my son's picture on his back."

 

"A Baptist and a Methodist"
 

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church on a Sunday
afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl
coming from the other direction.

"Hello" said the little boy.

"Hi" replied the little girl.

"Where are you going"? asked the little boy.

"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home", answered the
little girl.

"Me too", replied the little boy. "I'm also on my way home from church".

"Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.

"I go to the Baptist church back down the road," replied the little
girl. "What about you?"

"I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill", replied the
little boy.

They discover that they are both going the same way so they decide
they'll walk together.

They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially
flooded the road so there was no way they could get across to the other
side without getting wet.

"If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom's going to skin me alive" said
the little girl.

"My Mom'll tan my hide too if I get my new suit wet", replied the little boy.

"I tell you what I'm going do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull
off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across".

"That's a good idea", replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same
thing with my suit".

So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without
getting their clothes wet.

They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting
their clothes back on when the little boy, after staring at the girl,
remarked, "You know, I never realized before just how much difference
there is between a Baptist and a Methodist"

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

 

 

 

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>