Quote from Forum Archives on May 20, 2002, 2:18 pm

Posted by: amazingraze <amazingraze@...>

> >> > > >After putting her children to bed, a mother
> >> > > >changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and
> >> > > >proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
> >> > > >getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
> >> > > >thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and
> >> > > >stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with
> >> > > >stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her
> >> > > >three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
> >> > > >THAT?"
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > >A mother was telling her little girl what her own
> >> > > >childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.
> >> > > >I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in
> >> > > >our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
> >> > > >raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-
> >> > > >eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish
> >> > > >I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
> >> > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > >My grandson was visiting one day when he
> >> > > >asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
> >> > > >I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are
> >> > > >we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > >A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
> >> > > >father's word processor. She told him she was writing a
> >> > > >story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she
> >> > > >replied. "I can't read."
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > >I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors
> >> > > >yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out
> >> > > >something and ask what color it was. She would tell me,
> >> > > >and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I
> >> > > >continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
> >> > > >sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out
> >> > > >some of these yourself!"
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > > > > A Sunday school class was studying the Ten
> >> > > >Commandments. They were ready
> >> > > > > > to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone
> >> > > >could tell her what
> >> > > > > > it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and
> >> > > >quoted, "Thou shall not
> >> > > > > > take the covers off thy neighbor's wife".
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > > > > Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his
> >> > > >father about the
> >> > > > > > movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues
> >> > > >Under the Sea." The
> >> > > > > > scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had
> >> > > >kept him wide-eyed.
> >> > > > > > In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted
> >> > > >Mark. "What caused
> >> > > > > > the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity
> >> > > >Mark replied, "Dad, it
> >> > > > > > was the 20,000 leaks!"
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > > > > When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation
> >> > > >cabin, we kept the
> >> > > > > > lights off until we were inside to keep from
> >> > > >attracting pesky insects.
> >> > > > > > Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them
> >> > > >before I did, Billy
> >> > > > > > whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are
> >> > > >coming after us with
> >> > > > > > flashlights."
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > > > > When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
> >> > > >replied, "I'm not
> >> > > > > > sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he
> >> > > >advised. "Mine says I'm
> >> > > > > > four."
> >> > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >> > > > > > A second grader came home from school and said to
> >> > > >her mother, "Mom, guess
> >> > > > > > what? We learned how to make babies today." The
> >> > > >mother, more than a
> >> > > > > > little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's
> >> > > >interesting," she said,
> >> > > > > > "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the
> >> > > >girl. "You just
> >> > > > > > change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es' ".
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