Quote from Forum Archives on June 2, 2006, 11:04 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Parking Ticket"

 

 

In a hurry to make an appointment on time, a businessman parked his
car in a no parking zone, and left the following note under the
windshield wiper:

 

"I've circled the block for 15 minutes without finding a parking
spot.  If I don't park here, I'll lose my job. Remember the bible,
'Forgive us our trespasses.'"

 

Returning later to his car, he found parking ticket and this note
under the windshield wiper:

 

"I've been circling this block for 15 years.  If I don't give you a
ticket, I'll lose my job.  Remember the bible, 'Lead us not into
temptation."

 

"Yard Sale Anger"

 

 

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale."
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains," the homeowner replied.

 

"Normally, yes," the lady said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."

 

 

"Order"

 

 

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large
amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

 

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been
paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them
saying,
"We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

 

The next day the collections manager received a collect
phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

 

 

"Surgical Tools"

 

 

To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was screaming with extreme stomach pain and was surrounded by many anxious relatives. The Doctor kicked all the relatives out of the room, closed the door with patient and he inside.

 

After a while he came out and asked, "Please give me a pair of scissors." People gave him stainless steel scissors. He again went inside, closed the door and soon came back. He said, "Please give me a hammer." He got one. A number of times he repeated the routine of going inside, closing the door and then coming back again for a new tool.

 

Finaly he came outside one more time and asked, "Please give me a screw driver." The oldest son could not stand it any more and lost his patience. In a crying voice he pleaded, "Doctor please tell us what has happened to our dear Dad. Will he live? Could we open his will?"

 

The doctor said, "No, I don't know that yet. I am still trying to open my stupid bag - I lost the key."

 

 

Have a Blessed Weekend
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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