Quote from Forum Archives on June 5, 2006, 8:59 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Pizza Coupon"

 

 

Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, she handed
him money and a two-dollar coupon.

 

Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon.

 

When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough
money. I didn't need the coupon."

 

 

"Church Lines"

 

Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited - until you try to get
into their pew.

 

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly
comes close.

 

Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then
we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

 

Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they
are hatched, matched and dispatched.

 

Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't
belong.

 

If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the
one it has.

 

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing On The Promises" are
just sitting on the premises.

 

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.

 

Every evening I turn my troubles over to God - He's going to be up all
night anyway.

 

I don't know why some people change churches - what difference does it
make which one you stay home from?

 

If a Savior leaves you as you are and where you are, from what has He
saved you?

 

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I
discovered I was not God.

 

If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you
should consider running for a job in politics.

 

To err is human; to blame it on somebody else is even more human.

 

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

 

"Obedience"

 

Bernie and Esther were not the most religious couple and in fact they really only went to church once a year. As they were leaving the church, the minister said, "Bernie, it sure would be nice to see you and Esther here more than once a year!"

 

"I know," replied Bernie, "but at least we keep the Ten Commandments."

 

"That's great," the minister said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the Commandments."

 

"Yep," Bernie said proudly, "Esther keeps six of them and I keep the other four."

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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