Politically Correct Statements
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Your bedroom isn't cluttered,
it's just "passage restrictive."
Kids don't get grounded anymore.
They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not late, you just have a
"rescheduled arrival time."
You're not having a bad hair day,
you're suffering from "rebellious
follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore. You're
"vertically enhanced."
You're not shy. You're "conversationally
selective."
You don't talk a lot. You're just
"abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore. It's
"the speedy transmission of near-factual
information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't
awful. It's "digestively challenged."
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely
"passing impaired."
You don't have detention, you're just
one of the "exit delayed."
These days, a student isn't lazy. He's
"energetically declined. "
Your locker isn't overflowing with junk,
it's just "closure prohibitive."
The Minister Plays Golf
A minister was feeling bored one Sunday and decided to take the day off from church. He told the assistant minister he wasn't feeling well and drove off. He stopped at a golf course about forty miles away (so that no one would know him.)
Up in Heaven, the angels were talking. One said to Jesus, "Are you going to let him get away with that?" Jesus said, "No, I won't." The minister teed off on the first hole and suddenly, the wind picked up, blowing the ball right in the hole for a 420 yard hole-in-one.
The angel looked at Jesus and said, "Why did you do that?" Jesus smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
Have A Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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