{Prayer} For my daughter
Posted by: psharp <psharp@...>
All my CB family,
Please pray for my daughter Megan (18). She's just completed her final
school year, but in the process of doing all that amazing hard work to gain
awards in Art, Studio Art (photography) and Textiles, she has decided to
assimilate into the very worldly art scene. Apart from virtually turning
her back on church & youth group, she has also been through depressive
episodes & big mood swings lately - not a first, but her steadiness &
dedication to achieving excellent results this last year belied the fact
that her intentions all along have been far removed from her actions.
She's been singing in the worship team up until about a month ago, but has
decided instead to adopt a lifestyle of loose morals, drinking, smoking &
who knows what else. While we love her no less, we've let her know that
her self-destructive & rebellious behaviour is unacceptable & has put
everyone in our home on edge, & particularly makes her older sister &
younger brother uncomfortable.
Last Friday, while we were all home, Megan cut her wrist with a razor. She
scared us all, including herself - no life-threatening injuries, but my
wife & I spent until 3am with her in Emergency waiting to be stitched up &
interviewed by a Psych Services counsellor. She's still in denial of the
fact that her actions & choices in any way affect & hurt those around her,
giving no thought or consideration seemingly of anyone but herself. Megan
gave her heart to the Lord over 7 years ago, but it all seems irrelevant to
her right now, or at least when challenged she says she hasn't turned her
back on all her Christian beliefs, she just sadly thinks she can choose
those which she'll follow & ignore the rest. Makes me question right now
the genuineness of that first commitment, but I know this artistic genius
has such an awesome future & purpose in God! Practically speaking, we've
been instructed to keep Megan under 24x7 monitoring. Which means one or
other of us has to be with her at all times. Doesn't mean she can't go
anywhere, just not alone. She's feeling stifled, but she's learning the
hard way about consequences, and until there's an adequate diagnosis, which
may (probably will) include medication of some sort, we've all got to live
with them. My wife Glenda still has a couple of weeks until end of school
year (she's doing a Diploma in Community Welfare - is that ironic or
what?!) so some days I have to work from home, since Megan has finished
school.
On Thursday she had a psychiatrist appointment. Since Glenda wasn't in
there we don't know all that was said, but Megan's short version was
basically, "I'm a square peg in a round hole," & she's been advised to seek
to leave the 'hole'. We did expect (& had said as much to Megan) that her
leaving would be inevitable given her reluctance to live by our standards,
but one issue that's glaringly obvious to us, at least, is her personal
safety. We don't feel safe for her to 'let her loose' while she has
demonstrated unresolved suicidal tendencies. We don't know (& haven't been
told) if any of those issues were addressed by the psychiatrist. She is on
medication which, at this early stage, seems to help keep her moods more
even, but when a whole year of fairly even behaviour & mood can regress to
the events of the past few weeks, our level of comfort needs a LOT more
assurance.
Still, only yesterday Megan finally received a steady job offer at a
'beauty parlour' (doing waxing, tanning, etc) where she's been trialling
for a few weeks, & she also got her first offer into a Fine Arts course -
at Ballarat University for next year, but she's hanging out to hear from
RMIT (Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology) before accepting anything.
One of the clients also asked Megan to make her wedding dress, & the boss
has also asked to make all the staff matching singlet-tops so they have a
suitable uniform - all money in the bank & terrific confidence boost! So,
things are falling into place for her to go & pursue her dreams - but at
what cost, I ask? Life at home would definitely be more peaceful without
Megan's moods & - dare I say - bitchiness at times, but she's still my
little girl & she's a heartbreaker right now. Will it take a time in the
'big, bad world' for her to discover that all is not greener? Will she
come home pregnant & with nowhere else to go? (One thing that has been
decided by the Dr is that her going on the pill a couple of months ago
seems to have been a trigger for Megan's depression. She's been off the
pill again & some steadiness restored, & at least she recognises that her &
the pill just don't go together. But she won't agree to stay out of
relationships...).
Lord, restore the joy of her salvation, that she might seek - & find - her
first Love again.
Thank you for your prayers & God bless,
Peter Sharp
Ballarat Australia