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Prunes Tuesday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Prunes"   
 
 
Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Baptist parents. He was
very, very good, worked hard at school, did his chores, and was
generally helpful and obedient. But one morning, for some reason, he
came down to breakfast in a very nasty mood. When his mother served him
prunes, he snarled, "I don't want prunes," and he refused to eat them.

His parents were aghast, and his father said, "Robert, you know that God
commanded children to honor and obey their parents, and He will punish
those who do not."
 
But Robert still refused and was angrily sent back to
bed, and the prunes were put in the refrigerator.
 
 A few minutes later, a terrible thunderstorm came up
with great roars and flashes of lightning.
"Ah, wonderful," said Robert's mother,"this will teach him a lesson."
Robert came back down the stairs, went into the kitchen and opened the
fridge. From there, just after another flash and roar, the boy's voice
was heard saying, "Heck of a fuss to make about a few stupid prunes."
 
"Hit By a Truck"   
 
 
Fred was unfortunate enough to be hit by a 10-ton truck and landed up in hospital in intensive care.  His best friend Morris came to visit him.  
 
Fred struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sally visits me three times a day.  She's so good to me.  Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."
 
"What does she read?"
 
"My life insurance policy." 
 
 
"Heavenly Humor"   
 
 
An American, a Scot and a Russian were in a terrible car
accident. They were all brought to the same emergency
room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just
as they were about to put the toe tag on the American,
he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors
and nurses present asked him what happened.
 
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and
then there was a beautiful light, and then the Russian
and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too
young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we
could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet
and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was
back here."
 
"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what
happened to the other two?"
 
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was
haggling over the price and the Russian was waiting for
the government to pay his.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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