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Ready Yet Monday
#1 · July 24, 2006, 11:59 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Ready Yet"
A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and
yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"
yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"
Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out
loud, I've been telling you for the last half hour
that I'll be ready in a minute!
loud, I've been telling you for the last half hour
that I'll be ready in a minute!
"What Food"
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material
we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting
here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your
stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can
be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by
the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the
most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone
here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of
quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly
said, "Wedding Cake."
we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting
here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your
stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can
be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by
the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the
most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone
here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of
quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly
said, "Wedding Cake."
"2 Requests"
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
The woman replied, "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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