How do you know whether a man is a Christian? The answer is that his mouth is “shut”. I like this forthrightness of the Gospel. People need to have their mouths shut, “stopped”. They are forever talking about God, and criticizing God, and pontificating about what God should or should not do, and asking, “Why does God allow this and that?” You do not begin to be a Christian until your mouth is shut, is stopped, and you are speechless and have nothing to say.
Martyn Lloyd-Jones

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RR Conductor Wednesday

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#1 · May 24, 2005, 10:28 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"RR Conductor"
 
 
Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island Railroad.  He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider.
 
One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his ticket to be punched.
 
"Where are you going today?" Bob asked, smiling.
 
"Well, what does the ticket say?" replied the traveler sarcastically.
 
"Um, it says you're on the wrong train," Bob informed him.
 
"What am I supposed to do now?" asked the flustered passenger.
 
Returning the punched card, Bob replied calmly, "Ask the ticket."
 
 
"Potato Garden"
 
 
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his
potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who
would have helped him, was in Long Kesh Prison. The old man
wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad,
don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"
 
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed
up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.
 
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling
him what happened, and asking him what to do next. His son's
reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad; It's the best I
could do at this time."
 
 
"Airline Reservation"
 
 
A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his
ticket with a credit card.  The reservation specialist asked him,
 
"Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?"
 
The customer carefully replied, "V-I-S-A."
 

"There are three ways to get things done"
 
 
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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