Sad S A T'S
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
SAD SATs
The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given in 2002 to 16-year-old students!
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain a process by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes sand, dead sheep and large pollutants like grit, canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g.,abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are like sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~ ~**~
An airline reservation agent took a call from a man
who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn't happy
with the price of $59 per ticket. ""I want the $49 fare
I saw advertised." He insisted, saying he would accept
a flight at any time.
She managed to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight.
"I'll take it," he said, then worried his wife might not
like the early hour.
She warned there was a $25 fee per person if he
changed the reservation. "Oh, that's no problem,"
he said dismissively. "What's fifty bucks?"
teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we
realized we didn't have batteries. He stepped over to a
counter to get the batteries but couldn't attract the
attention of the clerk.
over here real fast." With that, I pulled out my pocket
tape measure and started measuring a large TV set.
Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of
furniture to reach my side in jig time.
of those batteries over there."
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