Our hopelessness and our helplessness are no barrier to (God’s) work. Indeed our utter incapacity is often the prop He delights to use for His next act… We are facing one of the principles of Yahweh's modus operandi. When His people are without strength, without resources, without hope, without human gimmicks – then He loves to stretch forth His hand from heaven. Once we see where God often begins we will understand how we may be encouraged.
Dale Ralph Davis

Groups

Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

SCHOOL BEST SELLERS MONDAY

Avatar
Forum Archives
2,360 Posts
#1 · January 21, 2007, 3:43 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"SCHOOL BEST SELLERS"
 
 
Walking To School The First Day Back
by Misty Bus
 
The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me
by I. Rhoda Bike
 
Can't See The Chalkboard
by Sidney Backrow
 
Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School
by Major Crackupp
 
What I Dislike About Returning To School
by Mona Lott
 
Making It Through The First Week Of School
by Gladys Saturday
 
Is Life Over When Summer Ends?
by Midas Welbee
 
What I Love About Returning To School
by I.M. Kidding
 
Will Jimmy Finally Graduate?
by I. Betty Wont
 
What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School
by U. Will Gettitt
 
 
"Cop Lines"
 

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
 
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
 
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
 
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
 
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
 
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
 
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
 
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
 
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
 
"Founding Fathers"
 
The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day.
 
Father1: Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?
 
Father2: Shall I open the window?
 
Father1: No, that's alright. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.
 
Father2: Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't we include that in the constitution?
 
Father1: What? That we're allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work?
 
Father2: Yeah, but that doesn't sound very smooth. How about "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
Necessary Legal Information
 
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
 
 
 

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>

Click for thumbs down.0Click for thumbs up.0