Science Sillies From 5th & 6th Graders
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
**The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.
**It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.
**Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
**Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.
**The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
**The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
**Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
**Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.
**When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
**One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.
**A monsoon is a French gentleman.
**To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
**Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
**Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.
**There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.
**The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
**You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
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Kids Letters To Lucifer
Dark Lord,
Are there popsicles in hell?
Masha
Dear Mr.Devil,
If you watch me in Sunday school tomorrow, I will be whispering your
evil name.
Mike
Mr. Beelzebub,
Please turn my little sister into a pony.
Dick
Dear Real Evil One,
I think about you all the time, even when I'm not creating mischief in
your name.
Tammy
Dear Satan,
Does everybody burn in hell, or just the ones who refuse to worship you?
Sammy
Dear Evil Man,
Did you mean for the pentangle to have five sides or is that just a
mistake?
Norman
Dear Lord of the Flies,
Do you like it when people are cremated instead of being buried?
Janet
Dear Lucifer,
Are you so bad you're good?
Nonni
Dear Devil Man,
Do you write for Playboy? Grannie says it's the work of the devil, but
Dad says she's senile and should be put in a home.
Nils
Dear Antichrist,
Is it OK with you if I go to church? I want to go to black masses, but
we haven't got any in Montana.
Dennis
King Satan,
I think it must be very hard for you to steal all the evil souls in the
world. I'll bet there is only room in hell for the really bad souls.
Dan
Dear Lucifer,
I hear your name means light bearer. Did you put Thomas Edison in hell
because he stole your idea?
Junior
Mighty Baal:
I try to worship a fatted calf every time I order a Happy Meal. Is this
pleasing in your sight?
Ronnie
Dear Mr. Scratch,
Did you make clowns, or are they just little devils all by themselves?
Toby
Dear Mr. Devil
A mean old man poisoned our dog and my dad blasphemed against God. Does
that mean you will steal his soul? Please tell me right away because
Mommy's special friend "Uncle Sawbuck" has promised to take me to
Disneyland if Daddy goes away for good.
Jack Jr.
Dear Satan,
I do not think anybody could be better Devil, because you don't even to
bother to answer my ultra evil prayers.
Chuckie
Dear Old Nick:
I want to be just like my you when I get big, only without the horns.
Tim
Dear Mr. Moloch,
Of all the people who ever worked for you, I like Henry Kissinger and
the Munsters the best.
Noah
Dear Satan,
I sold my soul to you and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!
Davey
Dear Lord of the Bad,
My daddy wants to know just how you pulled off that thing in Florida.
Chelsea
Dear Mr. Ashtaroth,
Are you down there as bored with all those New Yorker cartoons about
hell as we are? Can you do anything about it? (And how about the Johnny
jokes while you're at it?)
Johnny
Dear Debble-Man,
Does hell have good and bad neighborhoods, just like we do on Earth?
LaDericia
Mister Mephisto,
Is there anything, ANYTHING, you can do about Christian rock? I am
prepared to suffer in perdition for eternity, but it somehow seems
unjust for it to have to start prematurely.
Maynard
Greetings, O Master,
I paid this old lady in the candle shop $2.00 to put a curse on my
ex-boyfriend and now he's going out with Brenda... but it's been three
weeks and they're doing great and the old lady won't give me my money
back.
Darla
Dear Satan:
Please send me a nice paint set and some Hot Wheels this Christmas.
Yours Turly, Harlan Cotton
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Denounce The Devil
The Priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the Priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of him!"
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order.
Still the man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know for sure where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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