Quote from Forum Archives on October 27, 2006, 2:18 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Scratch"

 

 

A young bride was scouring the aisles of the supermarket. Up
and down each aisle she went, then started over again. The store
manager noticed this and went over to her.

 

"Can I help you find something, miss?" he asked.

 

"I's Mrs.!", she said proudly, "I just got married."

 

"Congratulations, " said the manager. "What can I help you find?"
"Scratch," she replied.

 

"Scratch?" he asked, "Is that a new cleanser or something?"

 

"No silly," she replied brightly. "My husband told me that his
mother made everything from scratch, so I need to find some!"

 

 

"Umbrella"

 

One day on his way to work, my husband stopped at the cafeteria as it
began to rain.

 

Forgetting that he hadn't brought an umbrella, he reached for the
nearest one when he got up to leave-absent- mindlessly, thinking it was
his.

 

"Hey! That's my umbrella," a woman immediately scolded.

 

Abashed at his mistake, he set it down and walked on to his office. He
was drenched by the time he arrived.

 

Once there, he discovered three umbrellas that he had left in the office
over the months, and he decided he should probably bring them home at
the end of the day.

 

That afternoon he ran into the same woman who had confronted him
earlier.

 

She looked atall the umbrellas, then at him, and tartly remarked:

 

"You did real well for yourself today, didn't you?"

 

 

"Miss Figpot"

 

 

Miss Figpot looked over her third grade class and happened to notice
Billy and Little Johnny giggling and talking during her lesson.

 

"Well, since you two are obviously listening so well, let's see if you
can answer this one!" The teacher said with a smirk on her face. "What
is the proper name to use when referring to a cow that has just given
birth?"

 

There was a moment of silence, then Little Johnny started giggling.

 

"You think it's funny Johnny? You know the answer?" growled Miss Figpot.

 

"Umm...yeah! " Johnny replied.

 

"Well, let's hear it."

 

"You would call her 'de-calfenated' !"

 

 

Have a Blessed Weekend
Dave and Barbara

 

 

 

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