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Selecting a Jury
#1 · May 12, 2004, 7:20 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Selecting a Jury
As a court clerk I am well-versed in the jury-selection
process. First, a computer randomly selects a few
hundred citizens from the entire county to report for
jury duty on a particular day.
Then, another computer assigns 40 of those present
to a courtroom.
Then, the 40 names are placed in a drum, and a
dozen names are pulled.
During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked
potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he
could not be a fair and impartial juror.
"There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my
ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee
we would not be able to agree on anything."
Both were excused.
process. First, a computer randomly selects a few
hundred citizens from the entire county to report for
jury duty on a particular day.
Then, another computer assigns 40 of those present
to a courtroom.
Then, the 40 names are placed in a drum, and a
dozen names are pulled.
During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked
potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he
could not be a fair and impartial juror.
"There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my
ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee
we would not be able to agree on anything."
Both were excused.
Job Applicant
A fellow sees a job published on a building site which
read:
"Handy man wanted - Apply within"
So he ambles inside and the following dialogue with the
Site Manager takes place:
Manager: Can you drive a forklift?
Applicant: Nope
Manager: Can you lay brick?
Applicant: Nope
Manager: Can you do minor electrical work?
Applicant: Nope
Manager: Can you finish drywall?
Applicant: Uh, Nope
Manager: Have you done any plumbing?
Applicant: Hmmnn... Nope
Manager: So, what's handy about you, buddy?
Applicant: I only live 'bout 7 minutes up the road.
read:
"Handy man wanted - Apply within"
So he ambles inside and the following dialogue with the
Site Manager takes place:
Manager: Can you drive a forklift?
Applicant: Nope
Manager: Can you lay brick?
Applicant: Nope
Manager: Can you do minor electrical work?
Applicant: Nope
Manager: Can you finish drywall?
Applicant: Uh, Nope
Manager: Have you done any plumbing?
Applicant: Hmmnn... Nope
Manager: So, what's handy about you, buddy?
Applicant: I only live 'bout 7 minutes up the road.
Playing Doctor
The seven-year old told her mom, that a little boy in her class asked
her to play doctor.
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened,
honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then
double-billed the insurance company."
her to play doctor.
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened,
honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then
double-billed the insurance company."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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