Sharks?
Posted by: root <root@...>
Hash: SHA1
Sharks?
Flight seven-oh-niner has a pretty rough time above the
ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "Ladies and
gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash
positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put
this baby as gentle as possible down on the water".
"Oh stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?" asks
a little old lady, terrified.
"Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a
special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially
for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs".
"And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me?" asks the little lady.
"Oh, they will eat you all right, only they won't enjoy it so much".
Great Tips....
* Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
* Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 min
* Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
* Spike your hair (with Close-up tooth paste, it will also give it a tint)
* Elmer's Glue-paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the
dead skin and blackheads, if any.
* Shiny Hair-use brewed Lipton Tea
* Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
* Poison Oak - witch hazel relieves itching and speeds healing
* Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
* Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
* Kitchen burns-cut fresh aloe vera leaf into slabs and tape moist side
directly on burn overnight
- - stops pain fast and heals almost overnight!
* Bee stings - meat tenderizer
* Chigger bite - Preparation H
* Puffy eyes - Preparation H
* Paper cut - crazy glue or Chapstick (glue is used instead of sutures at
most hospitals)
* Sore nipples - (Nursing Mothers) chap stick-or a wet Lipton tea bag
* Stinky feet - Jell-O!!
* Athletes feet - cornstarch
* Fungus on toenails or fingernails - vapor rub
* Kool-Aid to clean dishwasher pipes.
Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a
toilet.
* Kool-Aid can be used as a dye in paint, also
* Kool-Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, "your kids will love it
and it won't hurt them if they eat it!"
* Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee
filter paper
* Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
* Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in
your garage for your hubby
* Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
* When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with cornstarch and
watch them slide on
* Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
* Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the
microwave, pour into an
empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice! (Food
coloring stains, so be
prepared to be that color for awhile)
* Tie Dye T-Shirt - mix a solution of Kool-Aid in a container, tie a rubber
band around a
section of the t-shirt and soak
* Garlic odor on hands - rub stainless steel utensil over entire hand
- - No more odor!
* Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and 1/2 cup of
milk of magnesia,
soak for 20 min and let dry, will last for many years!
* To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
* Stay-Free Maxi Pads- clean window, floors, just stick to the palm of your
hands and work!
Can also be used a kneepad.
* Pampers as an absorbent! Remove stains from the carpet with club soda,
and a Pampers to absorb.
* Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
* To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will
absorb into the towel.
* Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with peanut butter!
* Baked on food -fill container with water, get a Bounce fabric softener
sheet and the static
from the Bounce sheet will cause baked on food to adhere to it. Soak
overnight.
Also you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
* Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
* Dirty grout - Listerine
* Stains on clothes - Colgate
* Grass stains - Karo Syrup
* Grease Stains- Coca Cola it will also remove grease stains from the
driveway overnight.
We know it will take corrosion from batteries!
* Sweat Stains - Efferdent, or vinegar
* Use a Maxi-Pad in your cap as a sweat ban! (Of course I think I would
staple this or pin it in.
You wouldn't want this to drop on the ground).
* Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24
hours.
* To Keep FRESH FLOWERS longer add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin,
or just use 7-up instead of water
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