Signs Of The Times Clean Hewmor
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
FREE! FREE! One shoe shined absolutely free.
On the desk of a kindergarten teacher:
THINK SMALL
Pawnshop sign:
Please See Me At Your Earliest Inconvenience.
Sign in Office:
The easiest way to make ends meet is to get off your own.
Sign at butcher shop:
Honest scales--No Two Weighs About It.
Sign by stuffed fish on wall:
If I had kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be here.
Sign on travel agency window:
Please Go Away!
Sign at Cafe:
Eat here and you'll never eat anyplace again!
Misprint on sign at drug store:
You can be sure of having your prescriptions filled
with scare and kill.
Sign in laundry window:
We do not tear your laundry with machinery,
we do it by hand.
Sign in restaurant:
If you are over 80 and accompanied by your parents,
we will cash your check.
Good judgment often comes from experience gained through poor
judgment.
Some learn from experience--others never recover from it.
Let's swap problems since all people know how to solve other
people's problems.
Experience is a good teacher, but a hard one. She gives the
test first and the lesson afterward.
If you are burning the candle at both ends, you are not as
bright as you think.
His sermons are sound advice; ninety-nine percent sound,
and one percent advice.
One of my uncles always contended: 'The trouble with getting
to work on time is that it makes the day so long.'
If we're going to have fun, we've got to get serious about it.
Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's within
walking distance.
His mother said, "Bobby, why are you crying?"
"Because daddy hit his thumb with the hammer!" little Bobby wailed.
"Why, that's not something to cry over," his mother told him. "That should
make you laugh."
Bobby rubbed his behind and said tearfully, "But I DID laugh!"
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