Signs That You Are a New Father
Posted by: root <root@...>
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Signs That You Are a New Father
==========================
Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege.
The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds
normal.
You are used to doing everything one-handed.
The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant
one.
The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.
Your idea of romance is hand-holding.
You answer the question "How are you?" with "We're fine."
You decide whether a shirt is wearable not based on sweatiness, but based
upon how well the spit-up stains match the shirt's main color.
Riders
=======
A foursome of elderly gentlemen came back after a round of golf. At the 19th
hole in the Clubhouse, the Pro asked them, "How did your game go?"
The first said he had a good round with 25 riders. The second said he did OK
with 16 riders. The third said not too bad since I had 10 riders. The fourth
was disappointed and said that he played badly with only two riders.
The Pro was confounded by this term "rider" but not wanting to show his
ignorance just smiled and wish them better golf the next time. He then
approached Jerry the waiter and asked, "Jerry, can you tell me what does
this term 'riders' mean?" Jerry smiled and explained that a "rider" is when
you have hit a shot long enough to take a ride on a golf cart.
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