Sorry, Wrong Number
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
most people she did something about it.
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired
almost the same telephone number as Leola.
From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since
she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to
persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally, the management refused, claiming that it could not change its
stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just
because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make
it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters
into her own hands.
At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and
asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leola said, "No problem. How many
nights?"
A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two
bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the 10th
floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it
and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be necessary," Leola
said. "We trust you."
The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric
appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and
a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.
She turned on her answering machine during lunch so that she could watch the
O.J. Simpson trial, but her biggest challenge to date came in the afternoon when
a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's wedding in June.
Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be
providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The mother
said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the
question of valet parking came up. Once again Leola was helpful. "There's no
charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the client tip the
drivers."
Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.
People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and
all were told there were no such events.
Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel
might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott said, "We're
prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."
Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the telephone number."
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Two old women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. "My dear,"
said one, "Are those real pearls?" "They are," replied the other. "Of course,
the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them." Smiled the first. "Yes,
but for that you would need real teeth."
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The Interview
A man who had been battling a mental disorder for years finally seemed to have
improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the
institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him
first.
"Tell me," said he, "if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you
intend to do with your life?'
The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I
will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist,
you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put
me here. If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where
I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful."
"Marvelous," said the head of the institution.
"Or else," ruminated the inmate. "I might teach. There is something to be said
for spending one's life in bringing up a new generation of scientists."
"Absolutely," said the head.
"Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for
the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in
this fine institution."
"An interesting possibility," said the head.
"And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be
a teakettle."