Spoke Too Soon!
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
During my recuperation from surgery, my mom stayed with us
to help take care of the children. One night toward the end
of her visit, she was sitting at the kitchen table. As my
husband Michael was trying to squeeze past, Mom politely asked,
"Would you like me to move in?"
Without missing a beat, Michael quipped, "No, thank you!"
The next day Dad arrived to pick her up.
Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers
boisterously celebrating some event at a nearby table.
Toward their end of their meal, one of them got up
and produced a camera.
"Hey, wait a minute," one of her companions said.
"You have to be in the picture too."
When I approached and asked if I could help, the girl
who owned the camera was delighted. I snapped a
picture of the group and then, being unfamiliar with the
camera, I asked her, "Do you want me to take another
in case that one doesn't come out?"
"Oh, no, that's okay," she chirped innocently. "I always
get double prints."
I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I
had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency
room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I
blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."
While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned
over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the
Internet."
you're a Navy SEAL. Case in point: My graandson's
pre-K class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories
of my exploits in the military. After I finished, hands
shot up into the air all over the classroom. The kids
were eager to ask questions.
"So," asked one little girl, "can you balance a ball on
the end of your nose?"
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