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Sticks Wednesday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Sticks"    
 
 
A musical director was having a lot of trouble
with a drummer. He talked several times to the
drummer, but his performance just never
improved.
 
One day, before the whole orchestra, the
conductor said, "When a musician can't play his
instrument properly and doesn't improve when
given help, they take away the instrument, and
give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
 
A whisper was heard from the percussion
section: "And if he can't handle even that,
they take away one of his sticks and make
him a conductor."
 
 
"Sniglets"  
 
 
Airdirt - A hanging plant that's been ignored for more than three weeks.
 
Arachnidiot - Description of a person who wanders into an
"invisible" spider web and flails around, gyrating wildly,
trying to rub it off.
 
Baldage - The accumulation of hair in the shower drain.
 
Begathon - Any fundraising drive by a public television
or radio station so you won't have to put up with commercials.
 
Bozone - The layer of air around stupid people that stops
good ideas from penetrating into their brain. Sadly, no holes
in this substance can be found.
 
Cheedle - The residue left on your fingers after eating Cheetos®.
 
Choconiverous - Used to describe a person who bites the head
off a chocolate Easter bunny first.
 
Crummox - The amount of cereal left in the bottom of a bag.
 
Deodorend - The last 1/2 inch of a stick deodorant that won't
push up, making the tube good only for underarm lacerations.
 
Elbonics - The actions of two people in a movie theater trying
to share one armrest.
 
Execuglide - Propelling yourself around an office in a chair on
wheels.
 
Fenderberg - The deposits of snow and ice that accumulate
around your tires, sticking to your fender during the winter.
 
Fizzfall - The point at which the head of foam on a drink begins
to recede.
 
Flopcorn - The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the microwave
bag.
 
Gladhandling - The frustrating attempts to find and separate
the ends of a plastic bag so it can be opened.
 
Glibido - Someone with a smooth, sexy voice. As in, "listen to
that glibido."
 
Jiffylust - The passionate desire to be the first person to dip
into a brand new jar of peanut butter.
 
Kawashocky - Pulling into what you thought was an empty
parking space, only to discover a motorcycle is parked there.
 
Keyfruit - The one apple, pear, or other fruit in the display
which, when removed, causes the entire pile to collapse.
 
Laminites - The people pictured in the photographs that come
with new wallets.
 
Maypop - A bald tire.
 
Microtrek - Repeated trips to the microwave to make sure the
food hasn't been overcooked.
 
Mowmuffins - The accumulated clumps of dried grass on the
underside of the lawn mower.
 
Negatile - That one spot on the bathroom floor where the scale
says you weigh five pounds less.
 
Nocturnuggets - The deposits you have to rub out of your eyes
every morning after a good night's sleep.
 
Optortionist - The kid at school who could turn his eyelids
inside out.
 
Pajangle - Waking up to find your pajamas have turned 180
degrees around while you were sleeping.
 
Phonesia - Forgetting who you were calling just as that person
picks up the phone.
 
Polarind - The disposable peeling on an instant photograph.
 
Prestofrigeration - When searching for a snack, this is the act
of returning to the refrigerator time and again in hopes
something new will have materialized.
 
Puntificate - Trying to predict in which direction a football
will bounce.
 
Scribbobics - Warm up exercises to get the ink in a pen flowing.
 
Sirlines - The charcoal lines on a grilled steak.
 
Slackjam - The act of being stuck in your trousers while trying
to remove them without taking off your shoes.
 
Snackmosphere - The empty yet explosive layer of air at the
top of a bag of potato chips or other snackage.
 
Spudrubble - The unclaimed fries that have fallen to the bottom
of the fast food sack.
 
Telecrastination - The act of letting the phone ring twice,
even if you're only six inches away from it. 
 
Toodle-Oops - The uncomfortable feeling of having said your
goodbyes, yet your path together continues for awhile longer.
 
Yardribbons - Those unmowed strips of grass you see only
after you've put the lawn mower away.
 
Zipcuffed - Trapped in your trousers due to a faulty zipper.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day  
Dave and Barbara 
 
 
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