STUCK UNDER A BRIDGE
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"low bridge ahead."
Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under
the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
< < < < < < < < < < < < < <
A MOM'S RECIPE FOR BROWNIES
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained
while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted
flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all
doors and windows for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the
line the call was a mistake. Call operator and
attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all
ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to
kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will
sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time
and he's still able to run away.
FROSTING
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the broiler and
throw it away-- far away.
Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman
that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house
and was heading for the street. Put Jr. in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring
constantly for 2 minutes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having
stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot.
Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
Tie Billy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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