Nonattendance, in the early years of our church, was considered one of the most sinister of sins, because it usually veiled all the other sins. When someone began to be in sin, you would expect them to stop attending.
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Superstitions Wednesday

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#1 · January 24, 2007, 1:37 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Superstitions"
 
 
One of our family's superstitions is that if a fork is dropped, we'll
have a lady visitor; if a knife, a man; if a spoon, a child.
 
One evening my five-year-old daughter was drying silverware and I
had put the tray close to her on the counter.
 
Suddenly I heard the awful crash of all the silverware hitting the floor.
 
"Mommy!" she cried in excitement, "we're going to have a party!"
 
 
"Top MORONS OF 2006"
 
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
 
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
Intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
 
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
 
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who
Had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
Canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
The police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
 
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
 
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
Forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein
The kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
 
4. THE GETAWAY!
 
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the
Money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied
Up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
Police showed up and grabbed him.
 
5. DID I SAY THAT???
 
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
Couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man
In the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll
Shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"
 
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
 
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her
Contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?"
The doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
 
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
 
In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up
A Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
Finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in
His pocket. (hellooooooo)!
 
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
 
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
East of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a
Problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand
New 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
No matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to
Make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may
Be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
Everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the
Out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
Pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
Underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under
The boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
Thanks John for sending this to us.
 
 
"Dollar Math"
 
 
"If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
Vinny raised his hand and answered, "One dollar."
 
The teacher shook her head. "You don't know your math."
 
Vinny replied, "You don't know my father."
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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