Takeoff Tuesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
They say that a preacher's wife is always his number
one assistant.
An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the
preacher had
just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with
his wife and she
asked him how he thought the church service went.
The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was
excellent, and I
think the prayer and communion times went quite well,
but," he
continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off
the ground."
The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop
herself, she
said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"
***********************
"Mystery Solved"
After our new neighbors moved in, our garbage was
knocked over in
the mornings by their big black dog. I'd often try
to shoo him
away, but he'd only snarl at me. In exasperation, I
went to my
neighbor's to complain.
"Thank you for telling me," said the woman who opened
the door.
"We noticed he had bad breath, but we didn't know
where he
was getting it."
***********************
"New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep"
Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after
year
that you never keep? Why not promise to do something
you
can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions
that you
can use as a starting point:
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Don't date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to
see
the largest ball of twine.
9. Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else
did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out
more.
11. Don't have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
***********************
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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