“Growth in grace” pleases God. It may seem a wonderful thing, no doubt, that anything done by such creatures as we are can give pleasure to the Most High God. But so it is. The Scripture speaks of walking so as to “please God.” The Scripture says there are sacrifices with which “God is well-pleased.” (1 Thes. 4:1; Heb. 13:16.) The husbandman loves to see the plants on which he has bestowed labor flourishing and bearing fruit. It cannot but disappoint and grieve him to see them stunted and standing still. Now what does our Lord Himself say? “I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.” - “Herein is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.” (John 15:1, 8.) The Lord takes pleasure in all His people - but specially in those that grow.
J.C. Ryle

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Technical Term

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#1 · September 26, 2003, 9:20 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

*** Technical Term ***     
 
An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon,
asked for a small allotment of money for "behavior modification
reinforcers."
 
Her superior saw the item, and asked, "What on earth is that?"
 
"Lollipops," the teacher explained.

 

*** All Smiles ***  
 
 A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into
the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a
new set of Woods.
 
 The staff all watched to see what would happen after
he used them for the first time - more than half expecting
he'd come in and demand his money back.
 
 But the next time he came in, he was all smiles.
 
 "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact,
I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther
than I could my last ones."
 

*** Slide Rule ***   
                                                                                                                   
We took my sons, ages seven and five, up to Friendship Park       
for a picnic.                                                                                            
 
My seven year old read the sign with the playground rules to
his brother. - "Do not jump on the merry-go-round when in
motion." - "Go down the slide while sitting, only." - "Only
one child on a swing at a time." (There were a good twenty
rules.)
 
The boys promised to obey them if I would let them play
without Daddy standing by. So, I joined my wife at the picnic
table.
 
Just before it was time to eat, I went over and watched them
play. They were obeying the rules, that is, all but one. On
the tall semicircular slide, they were coming down head first!
 

I took them over to the posted regulations. We read them,
again. I asked the boys what they had to say for themselves.
 
"Oh, don't be silly, Dad...no one uses the slide rule
anymore!"
 
*** Nobody Available ***  
 
One night last week I was going to bed when my wife pointed out that I'd stupidly left the light on in the garden shed. As I looked out of the window I noticed that there were several people in the shed, stealing our belongings. I immediately phoned the Police who told me that there was nobody in that vicinity and that they'd send somebody over as soon as they were available.
I said Fine then hung up. A minute later I rang back and said "Hi, I just called a minute ago regarding a burglary taking place in my shed. Well, I thought I'd let you know that there is no need to worry because I've just shot them all."
 
Three minutes later a dozen police vehicles and armed response workers were on my premises and naturally they caught the burglars red-handed.
 
One of the officers said - "Hey, I thought you said you'd shot them all?"
 
I responded - "I thought you said nobody was available!"
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 

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