The 80 Year Old Golfer and Sand Traps
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
An 80 yr.old man who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play, but was told there wasn't anybody he could play because they were already out on the course. He repeated several times that he really wanted to play.
Finally, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and asked how many strokes he wanted for a bet. The 80 year old said "I really don't need any strokes as I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps."
And he did play well. Coming to the par four - 18th they were all even. The pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green and 2-putt for a par. The old man had a nice drive, but his approach shot landed in a sand trap next to the green. Playing from the bunker he hit a high ball which landed on the green and rolled into the hole! Birdie, match and all the money!
The Pro walked over to the sand trap where his opponent was still standing in the trap. He said "Nice shot, but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?".
"I do," replied the old man. "Please give me a hand."
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***Random Thoughts ***
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes away.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
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*** Dear Pastor ***
Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Newtonville
Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Petrolia
Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson, age 11 Sarnia
Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, Sombra
Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Sarnia
Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Corunna
Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Courtright
Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarnia
Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, Nilestown
Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Point Edward
Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Ridgetown
Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, Sarnia
Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, London
Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Strathroy
Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Mooretown
Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9 Watford
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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