Quote from Forum Archives on September 6, 2004, 1:04 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

We want to thank everyone for their kind e-mails reguarding our vacation and clean hewmor.

 

 

Update on Niki

 

Niki's having very good days, all her numbers are excellent.  An attempt was made, two weeks ago to begin the weaning from the ventilator, it failed miserably, and set her back quite a bit.

Since last Sunday she's improved steadily.  Most of her swelling is now gone and she looks like Niki again.  They are keeping her lightly sedated but that's it.  Until the lung infection is cleared, they won't even try to get her off the ventilator.  And until she's off that, we won't know what condition her brain is in. 

Please keep Niki in your prayers.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

THE ALPHABET

While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear
a child's voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the
child's words. When I spotted a boy perched on a rock, I realized
why his words had made no sense: He was repeating the alphabet.

"Why are you saying your ABC's so many times?" I asked him.

The child replied, "I'm saying my prayers."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Prayers? All I hear is the alphabet."

Patiently the child explained, "Well, I don't know all the words, so I
give God the letters. He knows what I'm trying to say."

 

 

 

Hectic Day

 

 

I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bedtime finally
came, I laid down the law and gruffly said,

"We're putting on your PJs, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book.
Then it's lights out!"

Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said,

"We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have
mommies and daddies."

Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to
have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she
whispered,

"Maybe you could go be THEIR mom?"

 

 

Chef's Humor

 

The chef at a family-run restaurant had broken her leg and  
came into our insurance office to file a disability claim.  
As I scanned the claim form, I did a double take. Under  
"Reason unable to work," she wrote: "Can't stand to cook." 

______

 

ELEPHANT STEW

 

Elephant,  (1 medium sized pachyderm)

Brown gravy, (enough to cover meat)

2 medium sized rabbits, (optional)

salt and pepper, as desired

Cut elephant into bite sized pieces.
This should take about two months.
Cover with brown gravy.
Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks
at 465 degrees.
This will serve approximately 3800 people.
If more are expected, two rabbits may be added.
Do this only if necessary as most people do
not like to find hare in their stew.

_________

 

Alaska Whale Stew

 

1 (105 ton) blue whale
7,326 lb. potatoes
2,276 lb. carrots
104 lb. salt
52 gal. Tabasco sauce
1,896 lb. onions, thinly sliced
1,908 gal. tomato sauce
927 lb. celery
76 lb. black pepper

Place whale in pot with tomato sauce. Cook at 300 degrees for 4 hours.
All remaining ingredients. Simmer for 36 hours. Serves 347,161

___________

 

"Recipe for Marriage"

 

4 lb. of love

1 lb. of youth

0.5 lb. of good looks

1 lb. of sweet temper

1 lb. of blindness to faults

1 lb. of self-forgetfulness

1 lb. of powdered wit

1 lb. of good humor

2 tablespoons of sweet argument

1 pint of rippling laughter

1 wine glass of common sense

1 ounce of modesty

 

Put the love, good looks and sweet temper into a well-furnished

house.  Beat the butter of youth to a cream and mix well to

blindness of faults. Stir the pounded wit and good humor in

to the sweet argument; then add the rippling laughter and

common sense.  Work the whole together until everything is

mixed and bake gently forever.

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

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