Quote from Forum Archives on November 26, 2006, 10:21 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Bathroom"

 

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.

 

With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers."

 

"That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."

"Beef Bourguignon"

 

 

The newly-married husband came home from the
office to find his young wife in floods of tears.
"Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.

 

"Sweetheart, " she sobbed, "The most terrible thing
has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon
for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and
the phone rang. When I came back from answering
the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat
had eaten it!"

 

"Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry.
We can get a new cat tomorrow."

 

 

" LAWS"

 

 

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated

with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

 

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the

least accessible corner.

 

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is

directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never

get a busy signal.

 

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work

because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will

have a flat tire.

 

Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were

in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works

every time).

 

Law of the Bath : When the body is fully immersed in water,

the telephone rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone

you know increases when you are with someone you don't want

to be seen with.

 

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a

machine won't work, it will.

 

Law of Bio-mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

 

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are

furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,

your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the

coffee is cold.

 

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a

locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly

sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly

correlated to the newness/cost of the carpet/rug.

 

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

 

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't

know what you are talking about.

 

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

 

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Wilson 's Law: As soon as you find a product (TV show) that

you really like, they will stop making it.

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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